Inventory

Day Seven:

What was the most creative period in my life?

This is the most creative period in my life.  It started 19 years ago when I living by myself without much furniture in my apartment.  I was nearing three years sober and fell crazy in lust with a blonde.  I would come home from an AA meeting, where I would see her, and sit down at my table and write poems.  I was amazed at what came out of the end of my pen and was moved to see the reaction my poems would have on those who read my poems.  Tears would flow and it saw how powerful were the words I strung together.

I went to Open Mikes and read my poems.  Many didn't rate more than polite applause, except for one night I heard, "Now that's a poem!"  I later met and married Beverly and continued my writing even taking classes from local poet and jazz musician Doug Marx.  Those weekly immersions in poetry fed the fires.  I started blogging in 2004 and that has taken over for poetry.  I seldom write poems anymore, but continue to view the world through a poets eye.

What was the most productive period in my life?

 One of the most productive periods happened when I was a stockbroker.  There was a new local bank going public and my firm was handling the underwriting.  For weeks I phoned people encouraging them to buy stock in the offering.  I talked to 200 people a day for two weeks.  In  the end I opened over 47 accounts, had the president and officers of the bank as clients and the offering was a huge success.  Later the bank was taken over by another bank for a 200% profit to the shareholders.

When was I so involved with something that I lost track of time?

I can lose myself when I'm writing poetry or when blogging and the words just flow.  I don't get hungry, tired or thirsty in that time.  Then something magical happens and I look at what I've written and wonder where that come from.

What was the greatest inner battle?

The decision to quit smoking led to my greatest inner battle.  My craving for nicotine took over my life.  I started in college at 18 and continued on until I was 47.  I tried to quit many times, with hypnosis, with aversion therapy and with the Seventh Day Adventists Quit program.  I always failed.  Finally, I read about a seer or sensitive who could talk with those who'd passed over.  The spirit said those who had the most trouble on his side were smokers.  They still had the habit and desire, but no way to satisfy the hunger for nicotine. Again I took the Seventh Day Adventists Quit program and my last cigarette was on November 10th, 1991.  A week later, I was going crazy looking for a cigarette through co-workers desks on a Saturday.  I called a friend of mine for help.  She asked me why I wanted to quit, so I started telling her and the compulsion was lifted.  I haven't had a cigarette for 19 years.

What did I learn?  I learned to approach things "one day at a time."  To break big boulder like problems into pebbles and attack each pebble.  I learned persistence.  I learned that I couldn't quit smoking alone.  That I needed a higher power to help me.

What accomplishment am I most proud?   

I am most proud of being sober for 22 years.  Alcohol was ruining my life.  I wasn't proud of who I was or how I acted.  I had severely embarrassed myself and my friends with my drinking.  I've said I was morally and financially bankrupt when I quit on June 23, 1988.  Since then, I have found the love of my life, have regained the love of my children and have a higher power in my life.  No longer do I feel a big hole in my insides.  I am proud of the way I act and treat people.

Tomorrow - What was my bravest moment?  What was my weakest moment?